Pasadena Transformation

Apple Blog Gone

2008-06-10T16:07:00.000-07:00

Okay, my new blog is done for at our family site. Basically Apple doesn't allow some aspects of the blog (for example, comments) unless it is done via a .Mac account. I find the .Mac account pricey, so I went through my own host.

My new blog is now at WordPress.

You can find it here

See you there.

Final Post Here

2008-06-09T22:45:00.000-07:00

Well, it is only fitting that my final post be #101.

We have a new family website where my blog can be found.

Check it out here:

First Ball Game- A Snoozer

2008-05-22T21:13:00.000-07:00

Well, this is how busy my life has become. Myles and I watched our first Dodger game together last Sunday afternoon. The Angels beat us up real good, and Myles responded by sleeping through the entire game. He didn't miss much, and I can only hope he doesn't give up on the boys in blue too soon.

Beautiful

2008-05-17T17:43:00.000-07:00

Completely amazing, crazy busy, absolutely wonderful...all that was important before has forever been changed, and I love it.

Tick Tock

2008-05-09T15:35:00.001-07:00

No baby yet. This weekend...we walk till he drops!

Rock Band

2008-05-02T14:55:00.000-07:00

So, I got a nice rebate gift card from Best-Buy a while back, and I used it to purchase Rock Band. The game is awesome, and I definitely need to use it more in a group atmosphere, but I have really enjoyed the drumming part even as a solo tour. I played drums for about 4 years in jr high/high school, and it is pretty close to exactly the skills you would need to play. But, I have come across the song from hell. "green grass and high tides" is now the hardest song I have played. I am still on the medium difficulty, but I have passed a few on hard. But, this song has two different tempos that head up to double time, and there is a point in the song where I tend to lose it. I wouldn't mind so much, if the song wasn't freaking 10 minutes long. I always get to the 7 minute mark and lose it. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. I have progressed to 62%, 65%, and now up to 82% completion, and I just know if I can make it past the hard part, the last section of the song should be smooth sailing. The problem is that once I fail the song, I am not in the mood for another 7 minutes of failure.

Emotional Rollercoaster

2008-04-30T14:13:00.000-07:00

It is funny to look back on this whole pregnancy process and to see the different stages of emotions we have gone through. At first it was fear and a bit of grieving for the lifestyle we were leaving behind. This is not to say we didn't want the baby, but it is just being honest with the first feelings I at least had in my mind. We were originally planning on waiting another 2 years, but you know what happens when you plan too much in life.

Then we moved on to the relative excitement with a lot of fear. How can this possibly work? Can we still live in this area? How will we take care of him?

Finally, we crossed the point this weekend where we are ready for the guy to get here. I can't wait to hold him in my arms, read to him, play with him, and eventually talk with him. I am looking forward to the "new normal" in our lives. It is strange to think that within two weeks we will experience something that will completely change us forever, but it still feels so surreal and distant. Yep, I know that pretty soon I will be changing diapers, feeding, and waking up at all hours...but I am not quite there mentally. I guess this is what people talk about when they say you are never completely ready to be a parent. All we can be is ready to surrender our plans and ideas of how we can control the situation to our loving and faithful God.

Best Pizza Yet

2008-04-26T21:30:00.000-07:00

Well, I made the best pizza yet today. I used the same dough, but it was made today, not one day ahead. I made a different sauce, used an italian cheese combo and went with the good old pepperoni/pineapple combo. Chase that down with a oregon honey beer from TJ's, and you got yourself a good meal.

DH(hel)L

2008-04-26T13:21:00.000-07:00

That's right folks. If the devil has a preferred shipping carrier, it is definitely DHL. We have used their service a total of two times. Each time we were unaware that they would be the service used, and each time I have wondered how a company with such poor customer service and polices can possibly stay in business.

Each time they have tried to deliver our packages at 10:30 on a weekday. They never buzz our neighbors, and they wonder why we aren't their to pick it up. This has to happen all the time to them if they are unwilling to buzz other neighbors or are not able to change the shipping address. Also, FedEx and UPS both have the ability to send out a notice to a driver that the person is home or to reship same day if they happen to be in the area, not DHL. And, to top this all off, someone tried to ship baby stuff to us. They called to have them ship on Saturday, which apparently is a big hassle, and they were told that WE would have to pay $15 for the Saturday shipment. Oh well, no major deal, and the person shipping it to us was going to reimburse us the cost. Except that when DHL came today, they charged us $15 per box. So, we had to shell out $30 for two boxes, one with baby bedding, and the other with diapers. That's right, we paid $15 to have a box of diapers delivered on a Saturday. Seems about right to me.

At least I can trust our capitalistic market to weed out a company with this kind of business practices.

Oatmeal Stout

2008-04-23T11:23:00.000-07:00

Tried a bottle of the Stockyard Oatmeal Stout last night from TJ's. It was a pretty decent bottle of beer with a hint of chocolate and coffee. Not sure if I would make it a regular compared to something from Deschutes Brewery, but you can't beat the price and the ability to buy it by the bottle at Trader Joe's. Plus, as a bonus I got to shop on Earth day, meaning I could put my name in the drawing for every hour. Have we ever won something for bringing a bag in to TJ's? Of course not. But it will not stop me from trying.

Softball Blog

2008-04-22T10:07:00.000-07:00

Okay, so maybe this should just be a softball musings blog. I swear I will post other things one day.

We won by slaughter rule last week. Yep, you read that correctly...there is a team worse than ours. I think this was more indicative of how bad the other team was, and not a sign of us turning it around. We are probably middle of the pack, but put some hard hitters against us, and we will make errors galore.

Three more weeks and the baby is here! I cannot wait to hold the little guy in my arms. But what is up with the unsolicited baby name advice? If I don't ask for it, don't give it! And don't go shouting out names you hate...what if one of them is the one I love? Come on people!

Just barely missed the weekly post

Slaughterhouse Softball

2008-04-14T10:03:00.000-07:00

I'm not saying our team is awful, but it is pretty bad to lose two weeks in a row by the slaughter rule...although I think this league calls it the "Mercy" rule. That doesn't make it sting less.

The good news: it is a fun group of people, and we are having fun together.

The bad news: Joe Torre is pissing me off with his lineups. How many times do I have to watch Pierre start over Matt Kemp? Uhhh, the insanity just keeps going.

Softball

2008-04-11T11:16:00.001-07:00

Oh yea, we got a softball game for tonight. My new goal for the team is not to lose by the mercy rule...yes, this has already happened, and it was quite sad.

Hot Days

2008-04-11T11:13:00.000-07:00

Man, what is going on with this weather for the weekend. I can handle the 78 degrees with a breeze, but I really do not want 94 for tomorrow, please don't let it happen.

I picked up Rock Band for the 360 the other day, and I was a little nervous about the investment, but I had a gift card sent to me from Best Buy for $100 for buying an HD-DVD add-on for the 360, so win/win on that one. I gotta say, this game is way fun. Now I just need to find some people that want to rock out (Shannon is not a big fan of video games), so if you are out there, come on over and let's rock together.

Total Embrarrasment

2008-04-10T14:41:00.000-07:00

That's right...I am a total embarrassment to the blogging community. Well, I guess total is a little harsh, but when it comes to writing my own thoughts and publishing myself, I have royally stunk it up. What, the last post was over 7 months ago, man, that is really sad. I have a new goal. I want to at least write out or share some thoughts and moments at least once a week. If I do more, than great, but let's be realistic, I don't lead that exciting of a life.

I am smack dab in the middle of reading "Cannery Row". I love Steinbeck's writing. The vivid imagery and similes he comes up with make me laugh out loud while I am reading, which I am not afraid to do whether I am alone or in a room with Shannon.

Speaking of laughing out loud. I love taking walks around Pasadena while listening to NPR shows on the iPod. I wonder what it looks like to motorists when they see me laughing out loud on the sidewalk to one of the shows I frequent (This American Life, Wait, Wait, or Car Talk).

That reminds me...in this digital age we live in, I am having trouble telling the crazies from the phone freaks that are attached to their blue tooth headsets. Back in the day, if someone was talking out loud at a cross walk, you kept your distance. Now I don't know if it is just their poor reception and inability to walk 20 feet without calling someone on the phone. And seriously, people, can we please hold the phone calls until after you are out of the check out line at Ralphs. Are we that oblivious to proper manners that we are willing to let someone ring us up without acknowledging their presence? It reminds me of the customers that came into the bank on their cell phones...they would toss the deposit at me and keep talking on the phone. I really wanted to just stare at them and wait until they were done, but then all the impatient people in line would get upset for waiting over two minutes.

That is all.

Faith in a Consumer Culture

2007-09-03T10:57:00.000-07:00

I have been reading Eugene Peterson's The Jesus Way, and I want to reflect a little bit with what I have read so far.

In the first chapter Peterson looks at the temptations of Jesus when he is in the wilderness. The Accuser comes to Jesus and offers three temptations: turning stones to bread, jumping off the roof of the temple and being saved miraculously, and finally, to have complete rule over the entire world. The funny thing for me is that I only find the first one really tempting to me, and that would be the ability to turn stones to food. But I know right away that my reasons for being tempted with this power are not pure. I would want the fame and admiration of others to be able to do such good in this world of pain and hunger. But enough about my lazy desires for power, let's look at the different temptations and see how Peterson reflects on the current temptations within our Church culture.

First, Stones into Bread:

It is important to note the amount of time Jesus has been fasting in the desert (40 days). So, a good meal would sound quite wonderful at this moment, and the Accuser is starting with the quick and easy temptation, thinking this kind of power would be something Jesus would overlook. Peterson articulates this passage using the frame of our consumer culture, seeing how turning a part of creation into a basis commodity is obviously a great thing to do (especially in a Capitalistic society). Think of the endless good that could be done with this power. The hungry and the desperate could be fed forever, all with just the touch of our hand. The Church can easily fall into a similar trap with meeting the needs of the people around them. Of course, there is nothing wrong with meeting the needs of the hungry and the poor, the oppressed and the forgotten, but we so easily turn those needs into a commodity to be met. We define people by their needs and we use Jesus as a reason to develop a program and food drive to meet these needs, without truly seeing these people for who they are. Instead of using Jesus to meet these needs, we need to look to Jesus as the way to interact and encourage other people as we walk along this way of life. When we purely look at the needs around us, we can feed our selfish and apathetic society without ever reflecting the love and life of Christ along the way. It is very subtle, but we must avoid the temptation to meet the needs with Jesus as a stamp of certification, without first living and actively participating in what Christ is already doing in this world.

Second, Jumping off the roof of the Temple

Creating a spectacle and seeing something truly amazing is always very tempting. Who would not want to see God actively doing miracles at a simple wish or request, so we can bring more and more people to our churches? However, we run into a scary temptation to reduce our version of faith in Jesus to a means of entertainment. Why not? We live in such a consumer culture that we might as well package up Jesus to entertain the masses. I was wrong earlier when I said I was only tempted by the power to create food from creation. I can see this temptation of the spectacular and miraculous in my own life. I want to be used for something big; I want to make a splash in the Kingdom of God. I want people to notice ME. Already I have gone from the good of something miraculous to a place of self serving and pride. It is so easy to reach this place, and we as the Church end up here quite often on Sunday mornings. Let's make the service entertaining, let's package it with technology, noise, lights, and the spectacular. I mean, we have to compete with the entertainment industry, right? If this is true, than we are fighting a losing battle. Pretty soon this kind of ethos in the Church will lead to people saying, "That sermon was really good today", "I enjoyed the worship today", "I found that talk pretty boring". We have reduced the Church setting to something similar to a movie screening, where the congregation is expected to come in, sit down, consume the product, and then to offer their critique. I speak from experience and my own conviction, so if I am pointing the finger at anyone, it is myself. The sad thing is we have been ingrained in this culture that this is our right and our duty to do with all things, even our church setting. We have perverted the very notion of Worship and Community to meaning whatever makes us feel good and entertained. Worship begins with the individual person as they respond to the call of the gospel, but it is fully realized as the people of God gathering together in good and bad situations. Something needs to change in our current setting of the consumer gathering of Church. We invite people to come and take the product we are selling, without asking for too much participation on their part. I know this is generalized and does not apply to all settings or aspects of the service, but I am always amazed at how similar the very lay out of the church building resembles the modern academic setting. We have a class of students with a teacher at the front. No wonder we forget that we bring something to the worship experience as a community of people, not just what the lecturer has to say at the front.

Finally, Rule the World

This last temptation could be a post by itself, and if you have made it this far with me, I apologize for the length of this post. This is something that drives me nuts on the national and global scale. I don't have enough time to fully develop my thoughts here, but I find politics and rule to be a very dangerous place for the people of God. So often, we are tempted to impose our own rules and desires on the greater society by putting the stamp of Jesus and our faith on the message. The problem with this is that the message tends to be perverted and self seeking, which than portrays a tainted Christ to the world around us. I am not saying that faith and politics are impossible, but we must be willing to sacrifice it all for the sake of the gospel. The current system we have in place now seems to make this more possible on the local, city scale, but I am sure there are plenty of temptations and mixed allegiances on any level of politics. For any person to reach the place of presidential nomination means that money has been spent by certain groups who expect their agendas to come first in the decision making process. It would take someone willing to sacrifice a political career for the sake of Christ and his calling on their life. This would inevitably look stupid and ridiculous to the culture around us, in fact, it would be downright offensive, but the truth and beauty that would be shown through such a bold act would far outweigh any good that could be done by cutting corners here and there for the bigger picture. Sorry that this is not well thought out, but we must be careful for how much power we choose to have in our culture and our local church. I can only hope to have the power and strength to be willing to lay my life down for my friend and my enemy.

A quick side thought:

A co-worker and I were talking about what super power we would want if we could have it. I flirted with the idea of being able to heal, but I don't think I could handle the demand it would bring. The tv show The 4400 showed this nicely as the person with this ability had people lining up night and day to receive the healing powers he had. Of course, they were charging for this commodity, but how does one filter out the requests and demands placed on you with this great power and responsibility? So, after a bit of thought, I would easily choose the power of tele-porting. No more lines at the airport.

May I be willing to see how God can use me in the mundane and the ordinary, thankful for the very chance to be a part of his kingdom in the here and now.

Open Theism

2007-07-17T08:18:00.000-07:00

I feel good about it.

Competition and Humility

2007-04-30T14:42:00.000-07:00

I normally think of myself as a mild mannered guy, pretty easy going, but every now and then I can be a complete ass. I am sure many people can relate to this, especially if you are married. You find yourself saying and doing things where even in the midst of it you are thinking "why am I acting like this". Needless to say I found myself in this situation this last Friday at our Church League Softball game. Now, before you get worried about what I might have done in the game, the only one who knew I was being/acting like an ass inwardly was me (since Shannon was not watching the game...had she been there she would have seen right through my actions). Now for some context. We were playing the most competitive and most stacked team from our church. I mean there is no beating this team. And they worked us. This combined with some poor umpiring (and I umpire a lot, and normally don't call people out, but these people are lazy) and a major but whooping left me not enjoying the game by the fourth inning.

This brings me to my point. I hate when I act like this. I don't want things like this to bother me. I want to show more humility and patience in competition, because in the grand scheme of things it does not matter. So, in my logic of it all, I was upset with this overly competitive team and in response, I became competitive. I turned into what bothered me about the other team, and it completely sucked the joy of the game out from under me.

This has been resting on my heart the last few days, and I can only turn to God and say "make me more like you, make me a kinder, gentler, and more compassionate person, so I might reflect your love even in the midst of competitive moments"

I will let you know how it goes...

Nascar, I just don't understand you!

2007-04-13T11:09:00.000-07:00

Okay, I will preface this post with the full confession that I grew up and still live in Southern California, so I doubt I could have any affinity for Nascar, but I still just don't understand. I mean I understand the fun of driving a car fast through tight turns, but you are watching someone else do that. Now, right there I thought I might have defeated my argument. One could look at my obsession for Baseball and the Dodgers and say, "Kevin, you go to games to enjoy the art and skill of the sport, not to do it yourself". Yes, this is true. However, I also get to leave the game, play in softball leagues, and on some level enjoy the same type of activity that I am so passionate about observing. When was the last time you took a car and drove it close to 200 mph for 500 laps? When was the last time you had a pit crew jack up your car, make the necessary adjustments, and then you took off into the race? Nope, you drive around in your VW and Ford, wishing you could do what they do, while I can partake in the pure form of the sport, enjoying what I do.

****Note: this rant is not in any way serious, and I do understand the Nascar passion (sort of).

***** Double Note: Tim, you brought this on yourself.

Catchers and Ptichers Report

2007-02-13T08:35:00.000-08:00

I cannot wait for the Dodgers to start it up for Spring Training. We are fired up to offer some payback to the Padres and the Mets, and I can't wait to see it. February is such a dead month for sports. March will be great, you got the Madness and Spring Training.

Oh yeah!!!!

A Day at the Parade

2007-01-01T19:06:00.000-08:00

Shannon and I headed over to the Rose Parade this morning with our friend Alex. This is the 4th time we have gone, and it was really quite fun. I wouldn't say that the floats were amazingly spectacular this time, but we did sleep in the latest we have in the past (7 am) and still found some great seats. So, I think this will mean no more arriving at 6am to only get 15 feet closer to the route.

"Reality" TV

2006-12-09T20:26:00.000-08:00

It is ridiculous that I am expected to belive that what I am seeing in front of me is not just some edited, scripted portrayal of a fantasy. I won't mention the name of the singing competition, but it is a farce. I know of someone who spent time trying out for the show, only to be told she was too good to be on...this took multiple tryouts over the course of months, and then they show these "awful" singers who supposedly get to sing for the judges on the first day, which never happens. So, I am supposed to belive these people made it through without knowing they were not singers? Hilarious

Sad Day

2006-12-06T14:37:00.000-08:00

I don't know why, but I am having a tough time dealing with the news about James Kim. I was praying and hoping that he would be found alive, but I cannot help but think of the warm bed I had on Saturday night while this man was struggling to live. Why do I deserve the warm bed I have? I know this extends beyond what I know about, since there is all sort of suffering in the world taking place, even as I type these words. Nevertheless, I am heartbroken by this loss, and my love and prayers go out to the family.

Fast Food Nation--The Movie

2006-11-21T09:26:00.000-08:00

Well, I went to see this Movie on Sunday because I was interested to get a visual look at what I had read in the popular book. For starters, this movie will not be winning any awards for acting or coherent story lines, but it did an excellent job of portraying the different areas of life that are affected by the Fast Food industry.

To be honest I have avoided the major fast food companies after I read the book, mostly because of the way the workers are treated in the franchises and in the slaughter houses. I have had a harder time changing my buying habits of meat in general, and it is really a monetary reason. When I look at the price of organic beef or chicken, I wonder if I can really afford to change my habits in that respect. Of course, this might point to the bigger problem in America, that we consume way too much meat to begin with.

The movie did an excellent job of reminding me about the horrible treatment of illegal immigrants in the slaughter houses, taking advantage of cheap labor that is less willing to report unfair working conditions. The movie also touches on the effect the Fast Food industry has with corporate America and the teenager going to high school, but needing to work at the local fast food place.

I left the movie a little sickened by the images on the screen, and with a sense of powerlessness. I wonder how much it would really take to change this billion dollar system we have in place. Is it possible to beat corporate America? I can at least start with my own spending habits, committing myself to change for the better.

A Chance to Buy Nothing

2006-11-17T09:49:00.000-08:00

So,

In our never ending world of consumption and consumerism, I invite everyone to participate in the annual "Buy Nothing Day". It is so simple and makes a bold statement.

2006-10-24T15:58:00.000-07:00

White & Nerdy

This is Hilarious

Somehow...

2006-10-24T14:20:00.000-07:00

Read this amazing article, hard to ignore

2006-10-17T09:30:00.000-07:00

The Evolution Of Beauty

How do we tell the culture and the world we live in that we do not want this? Does it mean not buying products from companies that do this? Or is there another solution? It seems that our corporations have so much control in this world, that we are almost powerless against them...I mean this was edited by another corporation with reasons for doing so.

I Never Want to Paint Again

2006-10-13T08:56:00.000-07:00

Shannon and I finally took on the task of painting our stairway and our hall upstairs and downstairs. I say "finally" because the walls have been totally scuffed up since move in day. It was a learning lesson for us in terms of having people renting from you. We should have set up a contract for the condition of the place upon moving out. It looked awful. The frustrating thing is that they kept asking for more time so they could "clean up" the place. I remember when we first walked into the home I was in a bad mood already because we had so much initial painting to do (the entire family/dining room was green with borders on the walls), and then we would have to clean the place like mad. Fortunately, my parents were very generous to bring in a group to do an initial cleaning, and from there things have been bright. Now we no longer have scuff marks on the walls, dents in the ceilings, or scrapes along the side on the railings. And it only took from Sunday-Thursday to get it all done. That was another lesson...actually realizing how big the task is before you start.

From Extreme Joy to Sadness to Joy Again

2006-09-19T20:55:00.000-07:00

Last night was one of the most incredible experiences I have had in my life. My friend, Adam, and I attended the Dodger game against the San Diego Padres. If you already do not know what happened in that game, then I wonder if you pay attention to the news at all. The game started out with a bumming four runs in the first inning, and we were thinking, "oh great, we have to make up a lot of ground" Well, by the time we got to the ninth inning, we were losing 6-5, and it was a great game of comebacks and letdowns. However, in the ninth inning, our closer gave up three runs, putting us in an insurmountable hole losing 9-5. After that half of the inning ended, we considered leaving, but decided we might as well stick it out. The ninth inning starts with Kent walking up to the plate, and hey, he hits a homerun. I remember thinking that Kent showed up, he did his job, so can't complain there. Then with J.D. Drew at the plate, I watched him hit a monster homerun into the right field pavilion...I mean this thing was gone. So, now we are only down by two, pretty pumped about the lead being cut to two, but now Trevor Hoffman is coming to pitch. I fear Trevor, he is pretty much lights out when it comes to closing a game. So, on the first pitch to our rookie catcher, I watch the ball fly into the left field pavilion stands. Back to Back to Back homeruns. I am jumping up and down at this point. I have never seen this. The crowd is going nuts, we are all screaming or heads off. Up walks Marlon Anderson, and I am screaming "hit the ball out, hit the ball out of here". First pitch, GONE. BACK to BACK to BACK to BACK homeruns to tie the game. I feel the most electric joy I have ever felt. I am running up and down the aisles, high-fiving complete strangers with goosebumps on my arms and tears in my eyes. We just tied the game and now we are certain to win. The inning ends with three quick outs, not without a little excitement as Furcal flirts with hitting the fifth homerun out for the win...man I wanted that to happen. In the tenth inning the joy went straight down to despair. We gave up another run, so now we are losing again, and I am thinking, how can we lose this game after all that? As the teams are changing sides, I turn to my friend and I say, "Lofton needs to walk, and Nomar needs to send us the hell home with one swing, because I can't take this anymore". It happened, we went nuts, and I barely slept the whole night...oh, and I can't stop talking or thinking about it today. I don't think people can truly understand what it was like...except for the people there.

Expiration Date

2006-08-18T13:47:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I forgot to post about this. ON August 5th I drank a glass of milk from a gallon that had a July 20th expiration date. It boggles the mind!!!!

Family is Great to Have Around

2006-08-15T10:50:00.000-07:00

Well, I find it harder and harder to share my thoughts on this blog. I am so tired of my short attention span generation. Anywho, my bro was in town this weekend, so we had a chance to hang out and spend some time together, especially playing some baseball on Xbox...which pretty much proved that we are equals at that game, but I still own everyone in my family when it comes to DDR. My sister came out on Sunday to do laundry and to hang out with all of us. That was a total blessing, and I hope she will continue to come out to do laundry because we loved having her over. Man that was fun. Finally, Shannon and I went to the Dodger game last night and cheered them on to victory. I find myself wanting to go to more and more games. Sadly, we miss our friends Heather and Aaron very much, and I find myself getting bummed at least once a day. Cooking meat on the Big Green Egg just isn't the same without Aaron by my side. I will post some pictures soon of our Oregon vacation and of the game on Monday.

Peace out

Fast Food Nation

2006-07-25T21:39:00.000-07:00

I knew that I would eventually need to read this bestseller by Eric Schlosser. It was one of those books that I knew I should read, but that it would change the habits I had for eating out. Well, I must say that it was completely worth it. I need to read through the book again, but I was impressed with the overall picture that Schlosser paints historically, and by looking at all the different aspects of the industry. Schlosser looks at the overall dream and development of Carl's Jr. and McDonald's, while painting a picture of the different type of industry it is now. I will no longer eat at this larger chain fast food joints because of the treatment of employees, meat slaughtering practices, poor working conditions in the slaughter houses, and the chemical process in much of the food. I highly recommend this read, but beware of the change it might make in your eating.

Tri-Tip, the Fourth, and Fireworks over the Freeway

2006-07-04T22:31:00.000-07:00

So, we went all out for the meal this fourth, preparing three 1.5lb tri-tips, marinated for three days in Johnnie D's Angus Steak Marinade. We pulled the tri-tips out an hour before cook time, patted it down, and coated it with Pecan Rub (recipe from the Ugly Brothers). We cooked it over hickory wood, slow smoked for 1.5 hours at 250-275 degrees. It was amazing, pink throughout from the smoke, and the entire meal was a success. Later, Shannon and I went for a quick walk, and we watched the fireworks while standing over the 210 freeway.

2006-07-04T22:30:00.000-07:00

Full load of 100% charcoal in the BGE

2006-07-04T22:28:00.000-07:00

The tri-tips were done in a v-rack in a roasting pan so it could be cooked with indirect heat.

2006-07-04T22:26:00.000-07:00

Aaron and I enjoying the view in the BGE

2006-07-04T22:24:00.000-07:00

Adding hickory to the 100% lump charcoal.

2006-07-04T22:22:00.000-07:00

This is what the tri-tips looked like after being in the BGE for 1.25 hours at 250-275 degrees.

2006-07-04T22:20:00.000-07:00

Here we are taking the tri-tips off after searing them for 8 minutes at 550 degrees.

2006-07-04T22:18:00.000-07:00

Here is the grilled pineapple. Sprinkled with a little salt to bring out the flavor. This smelled amazing when you opened the Big Green Egg. It smelled like a dessert all on its own.

2006-07-04T22:16:00.000-07:00

Here is one of the tri-tips sliced and looking nice and pink from the smoking process.

2006-07-04T22:06:00.000-07:00

Here is the final product. Great tri-tip with sauted mushrooms, grilled pineapple, baked beans and cole-slaw. Aaron, the beans were amazing.

Jay-Zeezer

2006-06-29T14:34:00.000-07:00

Well, I am not normally a fan of rap and hip-hop, but I do realize it has a lot to do with the lack of time I have put into listening to the different genres of music. I was pointed to this site earlier today, and I have been loving it. It is a mix of the Weezer "Blue" album and Jay-Z's Black album. If you are a Weezer fan, you will want to give this a listen. But be careful, because you might start to like the tempo of Jay-Z's rapping.

Some Good Eats

2006-06-23T10:04:00.000-07:00

Well,

I would post about the amazing steaks we had last night, but Aaron Friesen did that for me. So, check out his post and pictures.

Some Good Hip Hop

2006-06-13T09:04:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my man Wess, I have been enjoying some free Danger Doom hip hop courtesy of adult swim.

Much to Rejoice

2006-06-11T19:02:00.000-07:00

This weekend has been one of those kind where there is so much to be thankful for and to rejoice about. My family was down for graduation, and we were able to spend it in our new place. So far I have really enjoyed homeownership, however, I have come into contact with the "list". Basically, as you go about the home, you realize all these things you either need to do or would like to do, and immediately there is a list of things to improve in your head. I know that I need to pace and relax myself, so I can truly enjoy the journey and not lose sight of the fun of this adventure with Shannon. Take for example right now. I am sitting outside on our patio, enjoying the bottle of red wine my brother brought back from France, and loving the 70 degree temperature on a lazy Sunday night, and breaking in the Big Green Egg BBQ I received this weekend as a graduation gift. I seriously cannot wait to BBQ some food on this thing. I was trying to explain to Shannon just how good the chicken would be, and she just rolled her eyes as I held back tears. It will be that good, and I will post some pics of the final product...if I remember. Well, I will continue to enjoy this night outside, in the cool breeze, enjoying my glass of wine with the smell of 100% lump charcoal. Ahhh, it is so good.

Emergent Conversation

2006-05-26T14:10:00.000-07:00

Tony Jones offers two great articles (scroll down for the first one) on the Emergent movement. I am always struck by how the Modern world has a hard time not boxing people into definitions or labels. I know that living with some ambiguity was one of the hardest things for me when I joined this conversation, but now it is incredibly liberating.

BTW thanks to JR for the link to these articles.

Where do you fall in the Theological scale?

2006-05-23T15:39:00.000-07:00

This is how I came out in the theological/doctrine test to see where I fall.

You scored as Emergent/Postmodern. You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology.
You feel alienated from older forms of church,
you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this.

Emergent/Postmodern

79%

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

54%

Neo orthodox

54%

Roman Catholic

46%

Charismatic/Pentecostal

43%

Modern Liberal

32%

Classical Liberal

29%

Reformed Evangelical

21%

Fundamentalist

11%

What's your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com

Pat Robertson--He will Pump You Up

2006-05-23T15:28:00.000-07:00

You need to check out CBN's website, saying that Pat Robertson can leg press 2000 pounds. Nope, I did not make a typo, but I hope they did.

Youth Film Festival

2006-05-19T14:15:00.000-07:00

Shannon joined me as part of my class headed to downtown Los Angeles for a youth film festival. The festival was hosted at the Bresee Foundation. This community center offers amazing services to the Pico Union, South Central LA, and Korea Town population. It was quite remarkable to see the many different resources and services they offer to a community that could easily be overlooked. I was impressed with the range of ages they serve. When you first walk into the building, you come across the medical clinic, which offers low cost/no cost medical attention to children. Down the hall is a Computer lab, offered to adults 18 and over. The cost to use this computer lab is $5 for a year!!! Down the hall from that is a Youth Center, filled with a pool table, games, food, and just places to hang out. The schedule of the center goes like this: from 3-4pm, the teens are able to come in, unwind, and just hang out. From 4-5pm is a mandatory homework time, monitored by the tutor volunteers. After 5 they have many different programs, workshops, and services for any and all to attend. The programs can range from tutoring, digital editing, college prep, chess clubs, and any other specialty offered through the volunteers. Once a week from 6:30-7 they offer a time for the teens to explore current questions on politics, religion, culture, and world news. Needless to say I was amazed to see such a wonderful place, transforming the community around them. I love the fact that it is a non-profit group, run by a church, but it is not merely a guise for evangelism. They are all about building continued relationships with the youth and adults of the community, seeing this as an active way to live the message of Christ in a broken world. Now I just need to find a place similar to this one that is close enough to volunteer on a permanent basis.

Joy of Being Active

2006-05-16T15:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a blast. Shannon and I hurried home from work, went grocery shopping, and picked up a soccer ball on the way home. We then went down to the Rose Bowl to just kick around the soccer ball before the sun went down. I can't wait to do more things like this when school is done. It is amazing how much public space is provided down at the Rose Bowl. The parks and fields provide endless opportunities for fun and play. Maybe I will run down there later this week to throw the baseball around. Who knows?

Evolution of Dance

2006-05-12T13:57:00.000-07:00

I give props to Nick Connell for showing this one to me. Check it out

Detached and Hypocritical

2006-05-08T12:15:00.000-07:00

Well, I am winding down the school year with my last class. I have loved the reading and reflecting I have been doing on the inner city, homelessness, and the response of the church, but I am still feeling detached and hypocritical about the whole thing. The problem is that I do not live in the urban setting that I am reflecting on. Yes, Pasadena is a city in many different ways, but it is a far cry from Skid Row. Here I am, born and raised in the suburbs of Southern California, and I am supposed to offer some insight to how the church should engage the problem of homelessness in the city. I am leaning towards reflecting on possible ways for the suburban church to respond in a holistic way, beyond mere guilt and shame for the "great white flight". Hopefully I will get some more direction before I start writing this weekend. Oh yea, and I have senioritis...I just want to be done.

Still Healing from the Trades

2006-04-28T07:34:00.000-07:00

So, the new baseball season is off and running, and I must say I am still excited about what the Dodgers can do this year. I am concerned about our catching and the fielding we have seen so far from Furcal, which could mean that Izzy will actually be able to come back to his old position. Even with all the positive aspects of this season so far, our starting pitching and hitting, I am still healing from the trades and break up of the team two years ago. I still remember opening up the newspaper to see that Paul Loduca had been traded in the middle of the season. I will readily admit that I cried when I read that story. Paul had become my favorite player for the Dodgers, showing that he loves the game, loves to hustle, was a great leader, and enjoyed playing in Los Angeles. The fans loved him, he had the best average on the team, and we were in first. But then we traded him for a soon to be injured Penny.

The tainted history of this and the other trades has left me feeling tentative about finding a new favorite. Right now Repko is probably my favorite player, but that makes me think I will just be more disappointed when he is traded mid-season. I know, I know, that is just bitterness talking, but like this title said, I am still healing.

Where Does the Time Go

2006-04-05T12:14:00.000-07:00

Wow, I have really stunk at reflecting on this blog lately. It seems like with the prospect of moving, finishing classes, and work, I hardly find time to think of anything interesting to say. So, I will comment of the book I am reading, The Brothers K. The book took me about 80 pages to get into, but now I don't want to put it down. Issues of family, religion, identity and baseball are all wrapped up into this wonderfully written and often hilarious novel. I laughed out loud at least three times last night in bed. I think Shannon finds me ridiculous when I laugh out loud to myself, but what can I say, I even laugh out loud when I am watching TV or a movie alone.

Pat Robertson Spreads the Love Again

2006-03-14T11:43:00.000-08:00

Once again,

Pat Robertson is at it again, spreading the love of Jesus by declaring radical Muslims as "satanic" and bent on world domination. Pat also goes on to say that Islam is not a religion of peace and that it is all about world domination. I wonder if Pat is willing to look into the different interpretations of the Qur'an out there, where there are many faithful and loving/peaceful Muslims who are trying to serve their god well. I can think of quite a few times in history where Christianity has represented itself as bent on world domination in the guise of evangelism. Oh well, just thought I would rant and rave a bit.

What is Mission?

2006-03-03T11:39:00.000-08:00

Okay, I know it has been a long time since I posted anything on this blog. I am going to chalk it up to the full time job, the two classes I am finishing up, and my new found love of poker. That last part is a whole other topic altogether, one that I may post about some day.

My most recent class of Spirituality and Mission was quite interesting, since our Professor stepped out of her usual method of teaching. There was no lecture, just a question about how we define mission. Of course, there were all sorts of different answers, spanning from the modern idea of proclaiming a "truth" to a people who "need" to hear it, to a idea of a missional lifestyle, living out every day and each contact with people as a chance to reflect the love of Christ.

But then...things got really interesting. Our Professor reflected on a recent article she had read about the typical Modern, Western method of Missions. This usually involves a big T propositional Truth that some group has had revealed to them (the gospel) and sharing/proclaiming this Big T truth to a people in another context, finding some way to sneak the story into some format they can understand. Within this method, the Gospel is usually understood as 1) All are sinners 2) You need to repent 3) Ask Christ into your heart. Now, I know this is an extremely simplified version of the message that is preached, but this is pretty much what I get from the people on the street corners in Old Town Pasadena or at 3rd Street in Santa Monica. Basically, it is the watered down version of the Warrior attitude the Church adopted to evangelism in Modernity...We must prove them wrong!!!

Our Professor then went on to talk about how she has a major problem with this understanding of Mission, especially because it is centered on propositional evangelism. The idea that there is a Big T truth out there and that we know it is arrogant and borderline dangerous for our own faith, especially within the particular cultural context we come from. It is so easy for the Western Church to walk into another cultural Context, lets say Kenya, and to present this individualized Western concept of our faith, assuming that it is the correct way of understanding the narrative of Scripture and the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. What this fails to realize is that the other context is subverted because it is primarily a context centered on community, while ours celebrates the individual.

So, our Professor argued for an approach that honors the particular historical context that God chose to reveal himself through Jesus Christ. We must bring this context and continuing biblical drama to anyone we are sharing this story with, so they are then able to read it within their own context, seeing how God has invited them into this larger narrative of love, relationship, and kingdom living. What is interesting to me is that people in the class wanted the Professor to draw it out in a diagram form. Once we try to develop a formula or diagram, we have succumbed to some of the negatives of the Modern, rationalistic mentality. There are some things we can participate in that still remain a mystery...isn't that what it is all about to live and walk humbly with our God. There are things we know of and participate in with our living Creator, but there is still so much more we don't know...and it is alright to admit this.

I was glad that we had this discussion in class. It was interesting to see that the majority of questions and comments about defining mission centered on the "decision moment" of evangelism and conversion. We didn't even begin to describe the holistic aspects of Mission, including Social Justice, care, ethics, loving our neighbors, and many more could be added to this list.

It was also interesting to hear many talk of how many people THEY had brought to a decision to follow Christ. The moment we think WE can do this, we have lost sight of the kingdom work we are doing. We have the privilege and honor of participating in the work that God is doing across the world, but we do not have a monopoly on God. We need to realize that by the time we come to any "decision" moment with a person, God has already been working and planting seeds in this persons life. Now it is our job to help them participate in the body of Christ and avoid using and living phrases like "my God" and "my Jesus". I am not discounting the relationship a person can have with this wonderful, living God, but we are called into the community of believers. It is all too exciting to see what it looks like to live out the fruits of the Spirit in a daily context, participating in the wonderful work that OUR God is doing.

Putting Others Before Myself

2006-02-13T09:15:00.000-08:00

Our Pastor at Christian Assembly has started an amazing sermon series on the fruits of the Spirit. I loved his opening sermon on the topic as he pointed out to the congregation that it is not about "being" more loving or patient or humble, but rather, it is about remaining in the Vine (John 15) and abiding in Christ. Encountering Christ every day in individual and communal situations is an exciting and wonderful way to live life to the fullest. Seeing each contact with students, friends, family, and the person on the street as a contact with Christ, reminds me of the humanity of Christ, which is something we all too often forget about in our Churches. We can easily lift Christ up to this other-worldly God who has very little interaction with his disciples. Yet, all throughout the Gospels, we are reminded of the incarnation of Christ in human form. The implications of this are astounding, and Eugene Petersen writes well on this topic in the Third part of his book "Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places." Needless to say, yesterdays sermon was on the first of the fruit of the Spirit, love. Mark chose the text of Philippians 2:1-11 to discuss the humble nature we must take on in our lives with our community and the world around us. Phil 2:3 stuck out as a glaring reminder of how little I truly love those around me... "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." I am excited to passionately engage Christ in others around me this week as I try to flush out this verse. It is so easy to "love" the person who has the same political views as I, the same personality, or the same interests as I. It will be a wonderful ride this week as I try to love each of the 50 plus students I will be advising beyond myself. Thank God for the example and teaching of Christ that I can shoot to emulate through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Disrespect at Fuller?

2006-02-02T09:14:00.000-08:00

This may be more of a post towards the folks who are students at Fuller. Recently I have been noting the amount of people in my class that either talk, play games, im, or edit their photos during class. The numbers are staggering...I would say I could count at least 20 people every night doing some sort of other project on their computers during the lecture, and this doesn't include the two or three people that carry a conversation in front of me (man I need to keep my anger in check because I just want to slap them up side the head at that point). After breathing and calming myself down last night, I began to wonder if this is less of a form of disrespect and more of a result of our distracted generation. Has technology and our lack of attention spans formed us in such a way that we cannot focus on one thing for too long. I know I spend time on the internet at home, while an informative TV show is on in the background. So, is this the same type of "multi-tasking" that I see in class? And even if it is, should it be happening? I don't know if anyone else struggles with this in class, but man, sometimes I get really annoyed.

Walking in the Morning

2006-01-25T07:34:00.000-08:00

I am always amazed at how beautiful the city of Pasadena is in the early morning. Today I went for a 3 mile walk at about 6:30am, and I am always pleased with the fewer cars and the shorter waits at the crosswalk. However, there is something clean and crisp about the morning that energizes you in a way that is hard to describe. Something I noticed today was that the Sunrise did not catch my attention. I may of been in a daze of waking up, or I was just to out of it to notice. Yet, this reminds me of the daily presence of our God that I tend to not notice. Here is this life sustaining force, rising in the morning to give life to God's creation, and I don't remember seeing it come up. My prayer for today is to notice the everyday wonders that I pass by on a daily basis.

A New Love

2006-01-24T15:35:00.000-08:00

So, I have recently found a new game that I absolutely love. Poker!!! I know this is a big fad these days, but coming from a gaming family, I will be playing this one for quite a while. I love this game, all the different variants involved and all the odds and rules you can learn. Plus, you gotta love the time you can spend around a table with a bunch of friends.

Frustration With Technology

2006-01-23T09:34:00.000-08:00

Well, this weekend turned out to be a great one. Shannon and I got to hang out quite a bit, I got to do some fun reading, and my parents were over for most of Sunday, looking at open houses with us. The one hitch was the constant router problem I have been having in our apartment complex. To share a wireless router with people in the complex is a mixed blessing. It is nice to pay so little for the internet, but it comes with a price. If the router has a problem it annoys everyone, and not just me, so I get to hear about. Also, if anyone has a computer issue, I am the fall back guy. Shannon has made me promise not to tell anyone that I enjoy working with computers when we move to our next place, but I have a hard time not speaking up and trying to help. Especially if people show gratitude and appreciation, then it doesn't really bother me. Anyway, so the router we have been using was rendered useless this weekend by a firmware upgrade. It had been dropping the signal pretty consistently the last few months, and I was in the process of trying to fix it. Many posts on the support website showed that this was a common problem, but I was past the ninety day warranty, so some money would have to come out of my pocket to fix the dang thing. Needless to say I didn't want to deal with the problem anymore, and I sure didn't want to purchase a similar model or the same brand for that matter. So, I went ahead and purchased a rockin' Mimo G+ by Belkin, and I am loving it. Plus, it comes with a lifetime warranty, so at least the company stands behind their product. If you want to know which brand to stay away from, send me an email, and I will let you know.

A Weekend Away with MLK on the Mind

2006-01-17T11:33:00.000-08:00

So, I had another wonderful weekend, spending time with the in-laws and some great books (C.S. Lewis and Desmond Tutu). It would be pretty tough to ask for anything more. I started thinking about my guitars this weekend, and how they sit in my apartment taking up space. When I first started playing the guitar, it was so wonderful to just hear the new music I could learn. But over the years I have grown accustomed to playing with other, so now I no longer enjoy the guitar on an individual level. This is good and bad. So, now I have to wonder...do I sell them or keep them?

On another note, here is an excerpt from MLK talking about being "dissatisfied". This continues to make me realize that so much still needs to be done.

So, I conclude by saying again today that we have a task and let us go out with a "divine dissatisfaction." Let us be dissatisfied until America will no longer have a high blood pressure of creeds and an anemia of deeds. Let us be dissatisfied until the tragic walls that separate the outer city of wealth and comfort and the inner city of poverty and despair shall be crushed by the battering rams of the forces of justice. [,et us be dissatisfied until those that live on the outskirts of hope are brought into the metropolis of daily security. Let us be dissatisfied until slums are cast into the junk heaps of history, and every family is living in a decent sanitary home. Let us be dissatisfied until the dark yesterdays of segregated schools will be transformed into bright tomorrows of quality, integrated education. Let us be dissatisfied until integration is not seen as a problem but as an opportunity to participate in the beauty of diversity. Let us be dissatisfied until men and women, however black they may be, will be judged on the basis of the content of their character and not on the basis of the color of their skin. Let us be dissatisfied. Let us be dissatisfied until every state capitol houses a governor who will do justly, who will love mercy and who will walk humbly with his God. Let us be dissatisfied until from every city hall, justice will roll down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream. Let us be dissatisfied until that day when the lion and the lamb shall lie down together. and every man will sit under his own vine and fig tree and none shall be afraid. Let us be dissatisfied. And men will recognize that out of one blood God made all men to dwell upon the face of the earth. Let us be dissatisfied until that day when nobody will shout "White Power!" - when nobody will shout "Black Power!" - but everybody will talk about God's power and human power.

Tired of theory, yearning for practice

2006-01-09T15:37:00.000-08:00

I think this title could sum up a good part of the way I have felt in the past few years. My journey of faith has had its ups and downs, and I know I have grown a lot in the downs. But lately, it seems that I have produced so much theory and speculation about what I know about God, the culture, and the way we should respond, while being completely void of any practical application to my own life. Early on in my faith I spent probably about two hours a day reading and praying to the God I was learning to love and admire. My passion was amazing, and it was a complete gift from God. But as I continued in my studies, I became rigid in my spiritual disciplines, to the point that it was not longer love that drove me, but rigid patterns for the day. So, I have gone back and forth, longing for the personal devotion I once had in the beginning, while still wanting to maintain the importance of the community of believers that I am a part of. I do think our "personal Jesus" mentality is detrimental to the Western world, but I know I have over reacted to the individuality of the faith in America by denying our Creator a personal relationship with me on a deeper level. Just writing the words "personal relationship" makes me want to cringe at the individualized faith I have abhorred for so long, but I know I have lost out in the meantime. As I have struggled to build a faith and theology centered on the love and work of Christ, I have narrowed it down to the topic of Social justice. Somehow I have come to think that I have God figured out, when I really know nothing at all. I long to encounter God in a new way, changing my life as I know it and filling me with a deeper love and care for the world around me. I long for an incarnational lifestyle that integrates my personal faith with the public world I am a part of. I do not want to box this awesome God in, thinking I can somehow have all the answers when I really just need to shut up and listen to God. I long to love and know God more than I ever have in the midst of a community of believers who see their faith as not a private matter, but as a part of the family of God. I long to approach God in the way described here....

"Religion has not tended to create seekers or searchers, has not tended to create honest humble people who trust that God is always beyond them. We aren't focused on the Great Mystery. Religion has rather, tended to create people who think they have God in their pockets, people with quick, easy, glib answers. That's why so much of the West is understandably abandoning religion. People know the great mystery cannot be that simple and facile. If the great mystery is indeed the Great Mystery, it will lead us into paradox, into darkness, into journeys that never cease...That is what prayers is all about."---Richard Rohr

Now all I can do is jump in to this Great Mystery with fear, excitement, and amazement, knowing that our God is faithful and loving...even to a nerd like me.

The Year of Better Friendships

2006-01-04T08:10:00.000-08:00

I am always amazed (unfortunately) at how much fun I have with a group of friends, playing cards, or dominoes, or some sort of board game. You wouldn't think I would be amazed at this point in my life, at least when it comes to this concept. I have always loved games and the social aspect of them, but I guess I need a reminder here and there that I can have a much better time doing those things than sitting at home in front of the idiot box. Kind of a side resolution I have for myself this year is to be more intentional about the relationships I have, providing for more opportunities of leisurely gaming and socializing, opening up our tiny apartment to as many people that can fit in at one time. Oh, and I plan to read more (but that's just because I can't get enough of books)

A Wonderful Time With Family

2005-12-29T20:11:00.000-08:00

So, Shannon and I got home late last night after a five hour delay in Dallas, due to a mechanical failure on our first plane. The good news is that we finally made it to Los Angeles, since there was no guarantee that we would do so. The time with my family was a blast. Shannon and I enjoy every moment we get to spend with them, and we had a wonderful Christmas together. This was the first Christmas where my nephew had a small sense of what was going on. It was absolutely wonderful to see him soak it all in, and I felt myself having withdrawals from his laughter and hugs today. I can't wait to see them all again, and I felt wonderfully blessed this week.

Where did the Time go

2005-12-20T09:29:00.000-08:00

For some reason it seems like these past few weeks have been incredibly busy and tiring. I guess part of that could have to do with the full time work and the half of my IDL I have already done this December. I wish I had some incredibly thoughtful and insightful things to say, but I am running dry. Yesterday, Shannon and I both got some time off, so we spent the day hanging out and setting up our new iMac that just arrived. She really enjoys the computer, and it is fun to see her take control of different programs. I will check in later during the holiday, and I hope you all have a fun and relaxing time.

Syriana

2005-12-12T14:28:00.000-08:00

So, I saw the movie Syriana this weekend, and I must say that I was not totally impressed. The movie did not offer any kind of new information that I had not already heard or seen, and the plot was completely convoluted. Basically, I lost track of who all the evil, white oil men were. Needless to say, I would hold off seeing it in the theatre, maybe if someone else rents it one night and you have nothing to do. Well, I am in the midst of my Introduction to Islam class, and I am sure I will have some posts reflecting what I am learning. It was interesting having some background before I saw Syriana, and I feel like I am getting a better grasp on the topic. Until then...

Weekend of bachelorhood

2005-12-09T11:36:00.000-08:00

Well,

It has been a while since I have had a chance to sit down and put my thoughts on the screen. I have had a pretty busy week, and Shannon left today for a 5 day business trip. I am going to be a bachelor for the weekend, and that makes me very sad. I can't even think of what I might do later tonight, especially since most people I know have finished finals and I sold my Xbox. I hope to get some reading done and to work on a class for the Winter quarter...I know, nothing but excitement. You should check out this link on the Christian Peacemaker team in Iraq...it is a compelling story. There are links to other blogs on the topic, and I think you will be amazed.

Vegas Baby, Vegas

2005-12-06T16:13:00.000-08:00

Well, I got back from an amazing trip to Las Vegas. I am still recovering a bit (too little sleep with too much alcohol). But the weekend was a complete success, since all four of us came back on top. You can't really ask for much more than that. I have found a new favorite game to play (Craps), and I plan on spending much more time with this game when I go again. Shan will be heading out of town this weekend, so I hope to get a lot of homework done and possibly a poker game at my place. We shall see...

Peace keepers in Iraq

2005-12-01T13:42:00.000-08:00

Check out this post on the Christian peace keepers who were abducted in Iraq.

World Aids Day

2005-12-01T12:22:00.000-08:00

I am so far removed from any real or authentic experience of the pain and suffering people throughout the world are experiencing in the Aids epidemic. Here is a wonderful and thoughtful post from another student here at Fuller.

Letter to the Church in America

2005-11-30T20:29:00.000-08:00

Here is my final reflection paper for my Isaiah class...sorry if it bores you.

To my brothers and sisters in the Church of America,

I write to you concerning the book of Isaiah and the words within it that continue to speak to us today. It is hard to imagine with all the chaos, pain, strife, and struggles of today that God still speaks to his Church. But I am here to tell you that God does still speak to all of us today, and it is time for us to stop and listen. The book of Isaiah will be a helpful guide for us today. The book is not comprehensive to all of our experiences, but we can glean life-giving faith and hope from the words of the prophet. We must continue to strive for the work and love that our God calls us to as his church. The book of Isaiah speaks to us in this way, highlighting many characteristics of Yahweh that we have ignored for too long. Let us take up the call from Yahweh, so we will be a light unto the nations, reflecting the love of Yahweh and his son, Jesus Christ!!!

God’s Opening Vision for Israel
Tears and sorrow. This is the picture we find in the opening chapters of Isaiah. Yahweh is upset and disappointed with the people of Israel to the extent that he is surprised about the lack of growth and vitality the vineyard of his church has produced. Israel has become so blinded by their sin and self-destruction that they no longer recognize the One they claim to worship (1:3). God is the divine parent who has been rejected by the ones he loves the most (1:2). We must be weary that this does not happen to us today. What are ways we have disappointed our divine parent? How have we denied our call as the body of Christ, whether through deed or words?
Just like the vision Yahweh had for Israel we are to be quick to offer our repentance and changed lives for the sins and transgressions we have committed. So often we look outward to the “sinners” around us; it is time that we confess to the transgressions of our communities, our families, and our nation. We must continue to strive for leadership and rulers that reflect the characteristics of our God. These decisions will reflect the justice and righteousness that God demands for his people to show towards the poor and oppressed (1:16-17). Yahweh is not interested in the many outward actions and “sacrifices” his people give to him, especially when they continue to be immersed in oppression. We too must examine our doctrines, our ideologies, and our expressions of faith, and ask if God even cares about what we are doing in our congregations. What good is it if we sing thousands of songs and listen to hundreds of sermons, only to deny God with our time, our lives, and our tithing? It is time for us to come to Yahweh in an act of repentance, asking for direction and wisdom for what He deems to be important. May we no longer offer trivial “sacrifices” and acts of worship, while we continue to deny his call to fight for the oppressed and exploited.
Finally, Yahweh offers a vision to Israel that calls for violence and war to cease. Tools of war and violence will be transformed into tools of cultivation (2:4). We can look forward to this vision God has for his people. This is not something we can make happen on our own. It is only a vision that can be completed by the work of God at the redemption of his creation. This does not mean we cannot strive for a world without war and violence, but we must be realistic about the peace we are able to bring about. The world is dominated by sin and transgression, so it is only through the redemptive work of God that we will be able to see his vision come to completion. Let us not lose hope or energy for making this happen, but we must be realistic. Our call is to reflect the love and hope of our Creator, no matter what the cost. May we pick up the vision Yahweh has for Israel, offering ourselves as God’s people to be a light to the rest of the world.

Our Present Reality
The book of Isaiah addresses the people of Israel who lived in the midst of a culture of idols and tensions for allegiance. The other nations all around Israel created different gods and idols to be worshiped. Hostility was not uncommon to the ways of Yahweh and the characteristics of his leadership. What was typically sought after was anything to serve the interest of the nations and their desire for power. We live in the midst of a similar culture, which fights for our allegiance and worship at all times. Just as Israel was blind to the their Creator, we have become blind to the cleansing work of God all around us. The consumer culture we live in demands our worship, our loyalty, and our tithing. We are bombarded everyday with images of greed, lust, pride, and exploitation. Much of these advertisements are done in the guise of feeding our egos, so we will feel a certain brand loyalty to companies and products. The average person in our congregations can expect to come across 16,000 advertisements in a single day. Israel struggled with this similar strain on their allegiance. All around them were gods and idols to lean on, which would only lead to a denial of Yahweh and his work in the world (8:1-9:1). The temptations are real and evident for our congregations to join the consumer advertisers for the allegiance of people all around. How far are we willing to go in this culture of disguised gods and idols? So often we defend our lifestyles with the Capitalistic mantra of America, but God sees through this façade, and he is angry. Yes, our nation offers many wonderful opportunities and chances to reflect God’s glory, but we must be aware of the pull our society places on our lives and our allegiance to Yahweh. Do not be lulled to sleep by the seemingly easy lifestyle the church can have today. The battle is going on all around us, and Yahweh expects and demands our allegiance to his ways. We should be struck with awe and fear as we turn our lives back to the One who called us from the beginning.
In Isaiah 31 Israel put its trust in the surrounding countries for protection and leadership. Egypt seemed like the right country to join forces with. The decision to trust in Egypt probably seemed like the most logical choice. What appears to be some of the most logical decisions can be nothing more than a lack of reliance upon God. Today we tend not to have the same threat of war and suffering (at least on our soil), but we still place our trust in our economy, our homes, and our savings accounts. Our congregations tend to speak to our own personal budgets, using the example of how a person spends their money reflects their true loyalty. I wonder what would happen, my brothers and sisters, if we did the same with our Church budgets and looked at what kind of obedience our church budgets’ reflected. Does our money go to alleviating the needs of those around us, to the poor and the oppressed? Or does our money go to high salaries, air-conditioned sanctuaries, cushy pews, and extravagant sound systems? Have we bought in to this consumer culture so much that we are willing to let it dictate our spending, so we can “advertise” to the numbers around us? Yahweh longs to stand by us and to offer us strength and resilience, but do not be fooled by the false idols we create for ourselves. It is only a matter of time that these idols and allegiances will collapse under the discipline of our powerful God, revealing our true allegiance and faith in the end.

God’s Present Reality
In Isaiah chapter six we see a picture of the magnificence of God’s glory. This should call us to a greater hope in the midst of this culture seeking for our constant attention. However, we must not stop with the opening of this chapter. We tend to stop at the end of the ninth verse, singing of God’s majesty and glory. We miss the call to Isaiah to bring a sobering message to the people of God. Punishment and cleansing is coming, and it is Yahweh who will cause his people to be blind and deaf to the demands he will make (6:10). Yahweh is not afraid to cause his church to stumble. The response of Isaiah in this passage is the example of how we are to respond to God. Isaiah must draw back from God because his glory is too much for him to handle. The reality of Isaiah’s sin is something that keeps him approaching the glory of his Creator. We must have a healthy respect and awe for the Lord we worship, realizing that God is not just our friend , but He is the One who demands obedience and repentance. This is the all-powerful God, who will have no problem bringing punishment and cleansing upon his church when they have turned their ways from the Lord.

Visions of Leadership
Throughout the book of Isaiah, Yahweh shows the people of Israel the types of leadership he looks for in his people and for the future. We can learn from this call of Yahweh to see what we should strive for in our congregations and in this nation. The child ruler described in Isaiah 9 shows the “righteousness and justice” that Yahweh anticipates coming in the future. We live in an age where our rulers and politicians reach their high stature with donations and contributions from companies that expect favors. It is nearly impossible for our rulers and leaders to reflect the exact justice that Yahweh demands for his people and this world. However, this does not mean that our local congregations cannot take responsibility for the world around them. Our local neighborhoods cry out with the poor and the oppressed, and we must heed their call. All too often these characteristics that Yahweh demands are passed off to the 2nd coming of Christ. We think to ourselves, “there is nothing we can do, so let’s just hope Jesus comes soon.” There is nothing wrong with wanting Christ to return today; I would love to see the pain and strife come to an end in this world. However, we must not let our future hope be an excuse to ignore the cries of despair around us. Yahweh is prepared to bring punishment and cleansing to his people who ignore the cries of the oppressed and poor (24:1-25:12). Take notice of the vision of Yahweh, so we might partake in the furtherance of Christ’s kingdom here on earth. It is our privilege and call as God’s people to take up the cross of discipleship. Things will not be easy, and it is not to be taken lightly, but we have the strength and the hope from the One who created all things. It is only through this Almighty Lord that we will prove to be fruitful and helpful to those all around us. So, let us remember the call of leadership Yahweh longs for: a leadership that fights for those who have no voice, no food, or no hope. Let us be the ones to offer the hope of our God, extending our arms and hands in acts of obedience to our God. Even as we ask God for our daily bread, may we search for ways to be the vessel of another’s daily bread. Lord, help us to be an extension of your hands, embracing your call in the midst of the forgotten and hopeless.

Growth After Pruning
The book of Isaiah speaks of our God bringing punishment and discipline upon the people Israel. This parental discipline is done for the sake of lifting up the faithful remnant of Israel. Yahweh uses the image of cutting down some of the tallest trees so that the plants will be able to spring up again in fruitfulness and shade (10:33-11:10). It is important for us to take a look at the lives we lead in the Western culture. All around us the church appears to be declining in numbers and in influence. In many ways this is seen as a sign that God has left his church. However, this could not be further from the truth. Yahweh may very well be in the midst of pruning his church, so the faithful remnant can stand strong in reflecting the love of Christ in this skeptical land. The church has relied for so long on its influence in the world of politics and morals, yet we see this power slipping on a daily basis. Our secular culture appears to reflect more of the culture the early church dealt with in the 1st and 2nd centuries. It is important for those of us in Seminary or in higher education to not assume that we know all there is about God. Our pride and arrogance may only reflect our lack of trust in our eternal Creator (Isaiah 14).
Although it is hard to see God as one who will discipline his church, we must be ready and willing to accept this discipline. The image of the vine in John 15 provides a highly intimate portrayal of Christ and his disciples. In order to know Christ more, we must abide in the vine, close to the center. To be able to abide in the vine requires our fruit and leaves to be pruned and cut back. This process may be painful at first, but it is only through this pruning that we will experience the abundant life Yahweh promises to his people. Just like a parent who weeps over the loss of a child, Yahweh weeps over his people who have turned their backs on him. It is because of this that we must stay strong and pray that we will continue to be the faithful remnant of God’s people in this culture of America. This does not mean we will make perfect decisions or that we will always get it right. Yahweh still works with his people in the book of Isaiah, even when their passion and certainty leads them to make poor decisions (Hezekiah). Let us welcome the pruning of our lives, our congregations, and our nation. God is faithful and has promised to water us and to take joy in our growth. Let’s stand fast to the call of discipleship, so we may cause our Lord great joy and pride over his children.

God Loves All the Creation
It is all too easy to lose hope in these troubling times. My brothers and sisters, I do not write to you to chastise you or to cause unwarranted guilt. I long for us to look at our lives and to reflect the kind of obedience we need to show towards our Lord. Yahweh has called Israel to be the image of Servanthood for the world around it. This image calls for bringing justice to the ends of the earth (ch.42), to receive a blessing from the Creator (ch.44), and to offer themselves as the suffering servant, bringing about a righteous state for those around them (ch.53). We know that many of these images cannot be fulfilled until the day Christ returns, but it is our call and role of obedience to serve and love Yahweh’s with all we are. We must not be lax or complacent with the comfortable and easy church services we attend. Do not let our rich nation drive us into a mode of apathy and laziness. We have the love of Christ and our Creator to compel us to be better stewards with the blessings we have. May the love that our God has for Creation cause us to live for that same type of love in our daily lives.

Amen.

Canon within the Canon...and a side of Idol

2005-11-28T22:22:00.000-08:00

Tonight was one of those nights in my class where I felt a twinge of shame and conviction with the topic at hand. I realized with Dr. Goldingay's discussion that in so much of my faith and beliefs I have focused on one canon within the canon of the bible. Goldingay brought up the trend of nonviolence and peace that seems to be a buzz on our campus. I definitely have Anabaptist roots in my theology, but I need to realize that the call to non-violence and direct action is not the only focus of my faith. I need to deal with the uncomfortable passages of violence, wrath, and judgment, which I tend to disassociate with the call of the Gospel or the God I worship. It is amazing to see that God is a God who chooses to work within a world that has pain, suffering, and war all around it. Finally, it was interesting to hear the other examples of our idols, especially in relation to our set doctrines or worship experiences. We can begin to worship the way we feel or the fuzzy feelings we get at a church service. We place so much emphasis on the experiential aspect of things, that this can be our god in itself. I guess I am saying that I needed the reminder that God is not a doctrine or belief to come to fully know. I must treasure and worship in the midst of the mystery of who God is. Yes, there are some wonderful things I can know about God through the biblical drama as it unfolds in the relationship with Israel. I must bow down humbly to the infinite beauty and wonderful mystery that is our Lord, Amen to that.

Wonderful Laughter and Conflicting Feelings

2005-11-25T11:21:00.000-08:00

I think that when I reflect on most of the holidays and the time spent with family, the random fits of laughter are the most memorable moments for me. Right before we went up to Rocklin for Thanksgiving, my family came by to visit, and they brought my beautiful nephew, Benjamin. Ben gives me hope for one day having children. He is a breath of fresh air compared to the children in our complex, who run around screaming and unsupervised the majority of the time. It was a complete joy to spend time with him, and to see the rest of the fam.

Thanksgiving was wonderful as always, with way too much food for our needs. I have a hard time sometimes, looking at all the food we eat and prepare on this day, and then thinking of the millions of people out there who do not have food to eat on a daily basis. The very thoughts can sometimes be overwhelming to the point of feeling inadequate and powerless to all the world's problems and pains. This brings me back to some of the discussions I have had with classes on the amount of news and tragedy we hear about on a daily basis. I think there is only so much our minds can handle, and when we continue to be bombarded with images of pain and oppression, we are sometimes forced into apathy and non-action.

The weather here has been rainy and windy, a nice change from the 80 degree days in Pasadena. Tonight I will be joining Shan and her parents at a wedding for an old highschool friend. Basically, I will be on display, and I will need to answer tons of questions from people I don't know. I am happy to go and be with Shan and her fam, but the idea of answering tons of questions leaves me tired already.

I haven't been to vocal about the Buy Nothing Day, but it has been hard a few times. I just don't think people even blink an eye at the amount of money we spend on a day like today, especially on crap we have been told we need by companies and their advertising. But it really is a way of life that needs to shift, and I am definitely not there yet. So, who am I to judge? I am no one, and I can only control what I do and how I live. So, maybe today will be a buy nothing day in conjunction with judge no one day. We shall see.

Thanksgiving but no Lament

2005-11-23T08:22:00.000-08:00

So, I wanted to wait until I had a chance to send this comment to my church before I posted it here. Our thanksgiving service was amazing with encouragement and conviction to live a life saturated with thanksgiving and not entitlement. However, in the middle of the worship there was a skit about two women who had gone through difficult times that year. Each had lost a job, lost their father, and broke up with a boyfriend. One was still able to see God throughout the entire process, offering thanks no matter what. The other one was still angry, frustrated, and saw nothing to be thankful for. The part that concerns me is the way the church answered the one who was still angry. Inbetween her rant and raves, we would sing another verse, sugar coating the whole thing. She left without ever being addressed or heard. I am sad that people in that service might think her feelings and responses were invalid. We honored the one who could give thanks no matter what, but we ignored the validity of the one who was going through lament and pain. Neither response is better than the other, and they are just as appropriate within the body of Christ. We didn't offer to weep with the woman, we just sang songs to her. Basically, this highlighted what I find most frustrating about church sometimes...the fact that we do thanksgiving really well, but we don't handle grief or lament at all. I understand that there is only so much we can do in a large worship setting, but we can at least model and encourage proper lament. Hopefully, there would be a smaller group of people in this woman's life who could just sit and listen to her. I just hope no one left that service, who was in pain, thinking that their feelings or questions were not valued. I look forward to seeing the response I get from staff.

Doo Dah Parade

2005-11-21T09:17:00.000-08:00

Well,two years ago, Shannon and I happened to come across the Doo Dah Parade by accident. Luckily, we remembered when it was happening this year, so we were able to be there at the beginning of the parade. Check out some of the photos here, and prepare to be confused.

Cultivating Thanksgiving

2005-11-20T18:34:00.000-08:00

Our pastor spoke on the story of the lepers in Luke 17 this weekend, highlighting the response of the one leper who came back to offer thanks to Jesus for being healed. It has me thinking about the many blessings and gifts in my life that I take for granted each and every day, leading to a sense of entitlement or expectation. I don't think twice about the water I use, the energy we have, the money we make, or the books I get to read. I long to be a disciple of thanksgiving, who in the words of my pastor, learns to give thanks for the imperfect gifts we received, because they will always be imperfect.

The Tension of Grace

2005-11-16T20:33:00.000-08:00

The idea of God's grace has been on my mind since the start of this educational journey at Fuller. I am always struck by the tension of God's grace and the demands of that same grace when we come to know God. We are saved by nothing we do, but God's grace and call places demands on our lives to live for the sake of the kingdom of God. This is obviously the abundant life that Christ promised to us. I was struck tonight in class by the universal expression of God's love in Isaiah 56. Here we see God call back the eunuchs and the outcasts who lived for him and followed his ways. He opened his arms wide open to welcome them into the people of God. First, I thought of who might the Eunuchs be today that the church keeps at a distance: the homosexual? the homeless? the gothic? the eccentric? those who don't quite fit in? I don't have a specific idea of who these contemporary eunuchs are. However, I do know that when Christ separates the Sheep and the Goats in Matthew 25, those that knew Jesus didn't even know they were feeding him, clothing him, or visiting him. This passage seems to dash to pieces the contemporary idea that one must pray a certain prayer, know a certain doctrine, or look a certain way. It is because of this passage that I am no longer comfortable saying that a person is saved by the faith they proclaim to have in Christ. I am only comfortable to say that if anyone is ever to be restored and redeemed, it will be through the saving work of our God, Jesus Christ, on the cross.

Long Day

2005-11-15T19:41:00.000-08:00

Today has been an exceptionally long day. We are dealing with registration this week, and with those who put things off to the last minute. Needless to say, I am completely exhausted. It doesn't help that I feel as if my body is fighting off a nasty cold. I have that achy, weak feeling. I am hoping it is nothing more than the Santa Ana winds, combined with allergies, and with stress/lack of sleep. Let's hope that a long night of sleep will prove transformational. The thanksgiving holiday looks better and better as I look forward to some time away and a chance to relax. Of course, I will probably be doing some sort of homework that weekend, although it might be nice to vow a no homework weekend when we go away. The only way I could make that happen is if I feel well enough to work on my other paper this weekend. On a positive note, I am in the middle/end of a fantastic novel. Walter Kirn's, "Thumbsucker", has been a witty novel about a 1980's teenager who works through a distant family, oral fixations, and his own ritalin addiction. It is well written, and I already picked up another one of his books. Wess and I are in the process of designing a blog for business that practice ethical standards and work environments. But since Wess is probably the only one who reads this blog, I said this for no reason. Oh well, I hope to have some more insightful reflections later in the week. Right now I am just enjoying Green Day's "American Idiot" album; it rocks.

True Offerings

2005-11-11T21:32:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading Isaiah 58 for my class on Wednesday, and I am struck by the similarities of Israel and our modern churches. The prophet is called upon to make known the transgressions of the people. So, Yahweh brings it right to the people, revealing the hypocrisy of their offerings (Sabbath/fasting) in relation to the way they treat the oppressed and the poor around them. In the end God calls for the true "fasting" that he longs for...to end the oppression, to break the yokes of bondage, and to share the bread with the hungry. I have been thinking of the discussion I had with Wess Daniels earlier, regarding the Communion table and how it was modeled for us in Christ. I truly want to find a way to share a common table with my neighbors, my family, my friends, the homeless, the stranger, and the outcast. I am wondering how that is possible in a world where I work full time, study in school, and typically come home exhausted. I am not making excuses, but I am looking for encouraging dialogue and for people to potentially express interest in doing the same thing. As of now, all I can do is pray for Abba to make this a possibility in the lives of those around me. I love the way God calls us to live a life that is beyond ourselves, to pick up our crosses and to follow him. If this life was about me, I would be utterly disappointed.

Confessions

2005-11-11T15:11:00.000-08:00

Here is a Confession from a Wal-Mart executive. It is compelling and chilling to see the kinds of business practices involved. Also, throghout the interview he does not look at the camera...shame seems to permeate the confession.

Wal-Mart The Documentary

2005-11-10T15:47:00.000-08:00

Well, I have been looking for this film for a while, and then I realized it is a grassroots, straight to DVD project. Check out the film details here. If you are interested in going to the Fuller Screening, click here.

Ethics of Every Day Life

2005-11-10T12:21:00.000-08:00

I am always amazed at the way we can compartmentalize our ethics of Jesus into only certain areas of our lives. I am sure I am guilty of acting loving in some situations instead of others, but if there is anything that working at Seminary has taught me, it is that there are many Christians who do not reflect Christ in their dealings with the departments and administration here at the Seminary. It is frustrating and sad to see how some have separated the way they act on a day to day basis from their discipleship with Christ. I hope this will spur me to embody the Gospel in a fuller and more meaningful way. I can already think of one way I blew it recently, and I need to ask for forgiveness. May God continue to meet us with patience and love as we live out this muddy life of discipleship.

Shop With a Conscience

2005-11-08T12:01:00.000-08:00

I got this link from Wess Daniels Blog. Check it out concerning no-sweat shop shopping.

8th Grade Math

2005-11-08T09:45:00.000-08:00

I was a little worried at some parts, but I did it.

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

My Sister's Passion

2005-11-07T09:21:00.000-08:00

I had a brief opportunity to speak with my sister last night about her passion for the Homeless in Los Angeles. Right now she is working for the Los Angeles Homeless Services Coalition. Part of her job is to create awareness concerning the homeless population in Los Angeles. I have never seen her so passionate about work she is doing, and I have never been so proud. Please check out the link above.

Vesper Service

2005-11-07T09:15:00.000-08:00

Last night I had the honor of attending a Vesper service at my parents church. The service was led by a 24 piece orchestra, which brought us through Psalm 42 in worship and prayer. After the 42nd Psalm was finished, the Minister of the church read the names of family members who had passed on during this church calendar. It was remarkable to hear each chime of the organ with each name called. I love the fact that this church had a service to remember those who had passed away this year. All too often I find that our Churches don't offer time for Lament and Grief. The church I attend does praise and worship very well, but I always wonder if the person next to me is being represented with our "joyous" songs. It is extremely healthy for our church to laugh together and to cry together. I am thankful this church offers the chance to cry.

A Reflection of Ugliness

2005-11-04T21:14:00.000-08:00

Tonight I went for a walk down to the Rose Bowl, and during this walk I came across some ugly parts of myself that I was not proud to see. On the way back from the bottom of the hill, I took a different route down a particularly dark street. At this point I was thinking to myself, "man you are dumb, this street is not safe to be on". Well as I was walking, something moved in the leaves, probably just a squirrel or a branch falling from a tree. But my paranoid self came crying out as I let go a yelp and ran like a crazy man. By the time I reached the top of the street to the safety of street lights, I was laughing at how stupid I looked and how fast my heart was beating. So far, so good. But further down the walk I went to cross in front of the 210 entrance. I pushed the button for the crosswalk, but it didn't register, so I had to push it again when the light went green. This caused a large truck with two high school guys to come to an abrupt halt when I entered the cross walk. They blinked their lights at me, and when I passed the car, they appeared to be saying something. Well, they revved the engine and said something, and I found myself yelling an expletive at them. Before the words had even left my mouth, I was overcome with shame. I could not believe how unlike myself the phrase sounded, and the fact that it came out of me so easily. I continued on, shaking my head and asking God to forgive my easily angered heart. Finally, I was on the home stretch of coming home when a local transient stepped behind me. I found my heart racing just like it did with the squirrel. In fact, my whole body tensed up, and I even began to clench my fists in a defensive manner. What the hell is wrong with me. It was then that I realized so much of my person is filled with irrational fear and anger. I am ashamed at the way I have failed to take on the likeness of Christ in my every day life. I am saddened by how easily I let anger and frustration rage inside of me, even while I speak out about peaceful resistance and actions. The funny thing is that I spent the better part of the walk listening to Democracy Now on the radio. The coverage was on the Celebration of Rosa Parks' life, and here I was resisting the very things I had heard. I guess I am just surprised at my own fallen state. I do have hope in the One who is beyond any repulsive act I can commit. But now I am painfully aware of how far I am away from living a life that truly reflects the love of Christ. It is in this reflection of ugliness that I see the glimmer of hope Christ offers to a broken person like me. Thank God for reflection and repentance. Now I must actually do something about it. Just don't drop any squirrels out of the sky next to me.

Hope for the Democrats

2005-11-03T20:25:00.000-08:00

Well, I have discovered a new hope for the Democrats out there. By the way, if you are easily offended, don't click on the link. I on the other hand found it freaking hilarious.

Good and the Bad

2005-11-03T20:17:00.000-08:00

So, I truly have come to love the city of Pasadena. I love the fact that it is a city close to LA, but still far enough away from the city to still have its own city charm. I feel truly blessed that I am able to walk all over this city, not relying on any type of car. Yet, in the midst of this beautiful city is congestion and traffic. I went for a 3 mile walk tonight around town, heading out to Old Town, and it struck me how unfriendly our cities are towards pedestrians. On a Thursday night Union St. was still swamped with cars, and you would think I had killed someone's firstborn when I crossed the street, holding up traffic for those turning right on to Fair Oaks or Los Robles. I couldn't help but wonder what kind of toxins I was inhaling as I hurried along listening to my ipod. I am sure it is close to the equivalent of smoking a few cigarettes. Oh well, what am I to do?

The Culture of Fear

2005-11-03T14:50:00.000-08:00

In times of War, there are plenty of questions that need to be asked; most of us suspect, correctly, that fruitlessly paranoid questions about errant backpacks and idling vans shouldn't be among these. What we really want to know are the reasons why all of this is happening. Why there seem to be more and more suicide bombers with each passing day. Why they target the people that they do. But our leaders condemn reasons as excuses, and dismiss our desire to understand as a desire to justify evil. And so we are left thinking about shady strangers in bulky jackets, snaking their way through the crowd, toward the trains.
The roots of terrorism run very deep, deeper than many would care to accept. And there are people in this world who have worked hard to obscure them. Yet if we are fearless enough to dig down, down trhough the muddiest and darkest parts of our history, we should still be able to uncover them. What we find, however, may implicate everyone in ways we never expected. The question then becomes whether or not we are prepared to take on the responsibility.

Taken from Adbusters Magaizine...Nov/Dec 2005 #62 Vol. 13 Number 6

The Wonder of Being a Servant

2005-11-02T21:52:00.000-08:00

I must admit that the Isaiah class continues to surprise me in new ways, and I am convinced that my lack of enthusiasm in the class has been my lack of energy. Tonight, God spoke through in the midst of my exhausted state. I am in awe of the call to servant-hood God has on our lives. Not only are we to be obedient, we are to sacrifice our very natures for the sake of God's kingdom and love for this world. As I have said before, I am far too quick to assume I am the one who has it all right, while others need to change. That could not be further from the truth. Yet, in the midst of this servant call from God is a commitment from God to us. For us to be the servants of the Creator, he must commit to us, promising to be faithful and supportive within that call. Now, this call is not meant for our sake, but for the sake of others. God has chosen us, not for our own individual salvation (whatever that means anyways), but he has chosen us so that others might experience the light and love of Christ. This call to servant-hood is far beyond me. And thank God for that.

Too Quick to Criticize

2005-11-02T15:51:00.000-08:00

I am noticing that in my life I am too quick to criticize or judge other opinions or actions of people. Most of the time this has to do with some sort of governmental decision or some sort of news on television. Basically, I really know what I don't like about others and where I might disagree with them. I am tired of that crap. I need to spend more time looking at areas in my life where I know I need to change, and I need to change them. I hope this day and the days to come will be spent with more internal reflection and transformation, rather than outer complaining and observations.

Quick Reflection

2005-11-02T10:32:00.000-08:00

I just had a great appointment with a student where I was reminded of the need for laughter and goofiness in life. Sometimes I take myself way too seriously. I hope I can continue to start each day by looking in the mirror and laughing. At least I have then started the day with a good laugh.

Tired But still kicking

2005-11-01T21:11:00.000-08:00

Well, it is the 6th week of the quarter, and I am beginning to feel the effects of working full time while taking a class at school. I don't know if it is the content of the class, or if I am completely wiped out by the time I get there, but the class is not as engaging as much as I would like it. Shan and I just had a wonderful weekend with her family, and we were able to spend some quality time with her parents. I always love having them around, so I can't wait to see them for Thanksgiving. I am looking forward to the end of this quarter and a chance to have some breathing room. Of course, I will dive right into another class, so there won't be too much breathing, but I do see a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel bad for Shan because she is dealing with a cold now. I need to avoid getting the cold as much as I can. But I still need to be able to take care of her. Interviews continue tomorrow, and I really hope we find a good fit. It has been a trying time to do interviews, and we truly need someone to handle the extra workload. Well, it is about time I went and did some more reading. More to come later. Oh by the way. The Isaiah class has resonated very well with me as I see the cultural similarities with the Isaiah context and today. We are a society filled with idols and false securities. How can the church possibly combat the culture it is so deeply immersed in? Thank God he is all powerful. By the way, is anyone else tired of these Christians on the Amazing Race. If I hear "Dear God, help us to beat these people" one more time, I will scream. Oye!!!

A Seemingly Perfect Weekend

2005-07-24T22:56:00.000-07:00

So, everything started out as a wonderful weekend. Friday night was full of fun, food and pool volleyball. We had the chance to spend time with friends, playing games and loving every minute of it. Saturday included work, homework, cleaning, and more volleyball. And then we went up to Santa Barbara and spent time with some close friends. It was wonderful. So, we end up at home and for some reason I take a moment out of the day to make a stupid choice and a horrible reaction to a situation, tainting the entire weekend. It is amazing to see how a stupid response can change some wonderful weekend. But, the potentially beautiful thing is the wondrous things repentance and apologies can do. I hope that my choices will not ruin the friendship with this beautiful person, and I can only hope this will not be a hinderance to everyone who was around at the time. This is, in face, my prayer. Well, I look forward to a new class, and I hope and pray that God will use it to further form and mold my mindset and ideas of ministry. Till the next time,

Kev

Starting Again

2005-07-22T11:53:00.000-07:00

So, I think I will give this blogging thing one more try. I know the need for me to put down my thoughts every day, and I hope this will prove to be a useful way for me to journal to the world. I am finishing up another quarter at Fuller Seminary in Pasadena, and I am still a nit nervous in terms of where I am headed vocationally. Thankfully, Shannon has been able to find a job she loves down here, so we will definitely stick around in the area. I want to honor her new job and the desire she has to keep working there, hence I will look around when I am done.
Pasadena has been extremely good to us, and we have loved the friendships and couples we have met at church and our apartment complex. I know these are friendships we will need to keep in the future, which is something I am notoriously horrible at doing. It will be a real commitment on my part to maintain and continue to develop the wonderful relationships we have had with people in this area.

I hope we can continue to enjoy and cherish Pasadena throughout the time we are here. Well, thats it, I know its a lame post, but at least it is a start.

Kev