I normally think of myself as a mild mannered guy, pretty easy going, but every now and then I can be a complete ass. I am sure many people can relate to this, especially if you are married. You find yourself saying and doing things where even in the midst of it you are thinking "why am I acting like this". Needless to say I found myself in this situation this last Friday at our Church League Softball game. Now, before you get worried about what I might have done in the game, the only one who knew I was being/acting like an ass inwardly was me (since Shannon was not watching the game...had she been there she would have seen right through my actions). Now for some context. We were playing the most competitive and most stacked team from our church. I mean there is no beating this team. And they worked us. This combined with some poor umpiring (and I umpire a lot, and normally don't call people out, but these people are lazy) and a major but whooping left me not enjoying the game by the fourth inning.
This brings me to my point. I hate when I act like this. I don't want things like this to bother me. I want to show more humility and patience in competition, because in the grand scheme of things it does not matter. So, in my logic of it all, I was upset with this overly competitive team and in response, I became competitive. I turned into what bothered me about the other team, and it completely sucked the joy of the game out from under me.
This has been resting on my heart the last few days, and I can only turn to God and say "make me more like you, make me a kinder, gentler, and more compassionate person, so I might reflect your love even in the midst of competitive moments"
I will let you know how it goes...